Friday, August 12, 2005

Top 5 Phone calls

I appoligize for the delay in writing, but I resolved I'd only write when I thought something was funny... and well my life is kinda dull.....Anyways....

Top Five phone calls at work this year (I work a switchboard for a government company)

5. Me: Good afternoon *name of company*
Drunk Girl: Oh F*ck me, wrong number...

4. Me:- I'm not going to do this every time
Guy: Let me talk to your manager.
Me: He's not in right now sir, can I help you with something?
Guy: Unless you're the manager I don't want to F*cking talk to you. Your company is a bunch of retarded F-ing morons, as far as I'm concerned you can all eat S*it and die. Tell your manager to call me, if you tell him what I said he'll know who the F*ck this is.

3. Guy- I'd like to put in a claim
Me- Ok sir, can you tell me what happened?
Guy- Well I was driving on main street there and this chick opened the back hatch of the car and flashed me, so I followed them for a couple blocks and she kept doing it. I was so busy watching her beautiful boobs that I drove right into a parked car.

2. Me- Good morning, how can I help you?
Guy- Could I talk to Tits?
Me- Pardon?
Guy- Can I talk to Tits McGee?
Me- How did you know they called me that in high school?
Guy- Listen asshole, just let me talk to my wife?
Me- Sure, who are you?
Guy- Oh S*it, I dialed the wrong number

1. Me- Good morning can I help you?
Girl- I hope so... it hasn't been a good day?
Me- It never is if you're talking to me
Girl- snickers, oh I don't know you sound cute...
Me- Well the phone can be deceiving
Girl- Am I able to do this in person, or do I have to do it on the phone?
Me- Either way works for me, I'm not picky.
Girl- Alright, I think I'll come down there then, I want to see if you're as cute as you sound, or if your cockiness is masking your looks
Me- Well I'm sure you're be thoroughly dissappointed
Girl- I guess we'll fine out (Note: I don't think she ever came, if she did, she probably walked in the door, looked and me and then decided she didn't want to talk to me after all, haha)

All of these actually happened, and there are a few that are much funnier, but would reveal confidential information, I'll likely post those calls once my work term is finished, that way they can't fire me....