Monday, January 16, 2006

Mcdonalds sucks

Let me make one thing clear before I start. I have a love/hate relationship with Mcdonalds. If you know me, you'll know that I'm a tad... oh what do they call it these days?..... fat? Anyways, I love eating Mcdonalds, in fact I think they put a substance in there that makes it addictive, but nonetheless, I also hate it very much, and these are the reasons why.

5. (Mc)Ornery Workers
I understand that you hate your minimum wage job, but all I want you to do is make my sandwich and I'll be on my way, and I don't want my fries cold either. I heard one time (my brother used to work for them) that they won't let their fries sit in the bin for more than 3 minutes or something because then they get cold, it's funny how every time I get fries they are either so hot I can't eat them or taste like licking the inside of a toilet bowl. Did I do something to you people? You wouldn't be in business if it wasn't for me... oh wait, our whole continent is full of people with fat asses because of you.

4. (Mc)Happy workers
Again, there seems to be no happy medium, not unlike the quality of french fries served at Rotten Ronnies. These employees either hate their lives and have contemplated eating every meal there until their arteries clog and they die, or they are so excited for working for this established food chain that they can't wait to go to work every day. All I have to say is "The Gold Card isn't worth working there, no matter how much you like to eat that crap"

3. Filet o' Fish
If you are going to make a Mcdeal for every day or the week then why make friday's selection the crappiest thing you serve. Nothing is real meat, which is bad enough, but then you go and put this AWFUL piece of crap on the menu and expect that people are going to spend their money on it. I hate you, and I hate fish, and I hope that everyone that works there gets herpes.

2. After effects
Have you ever noticed that after you eat Mcdonalds you feel like crap? No matter how many times this happens to me, I always go back for more. It's like I can feel my colon kicking the crap out of stomach for putting that dog slush into my system. No wonder Dogs are so fat and happy though. But seriously, I don't know when I've felt worse after a meal, at the following times `a. immediately after eating it, b. before I eat again, c. when I think about eating again, d. when I eat mcdonalds again cause I'm too lazy to cook, e. the neeexxxt morning.

1. "Mc"
Why do you insist on putting "Mc" in front of everything. Nobody buys into the way you put that in front of everything you sell as if it says "we're happy and if you buy our food you'll be happy too! Life is wonderful and Ronald Mcdonald is your best friend!" Screw you guys

Sunday, January 08, 2006

FH.. I mean IH stats for January 6th/06

Goals: 3
Assists: 6
Plus/Minus: + 8
= Me dominating, the only time they scored a goal when I was on the ice was when I was in the middle of a shift change, so I had just stepped on the ice. I'm the only one in the world who knows how to play hockey and I'm also the coolest person ever.