Friday, January 19, 2007

New Years Resolutions

I found it funny this year that everyone made all these New Years resolutions. I really enjoy hearing the different things people have to say around this topic, and if you like feel free to post your new years resolutions. My new years resolution this year is to "be a happier person". I know that sounds lame, but one eventually gets tired of being a cynic after awhile. If you see me being grumpy remind me of my resolution, and I'll punch you in the face, and then I'll appologize and immediately be in a better made. One could argue that I am happier because you reminded, or because I just got to punch another happy person in the face, either or does just fine for me. Here is a list of the top five funniest resolutions I heard this year.

1. "I am going to lost weight"

I think Larry the Cable guy said it best when he pledged to eat more and get fatter. I have made it a rule to not make false promises to myself either. I'm going to try and stray away from being a fatty, but I'm not making any promises. As long as MCdonalds keeps offering tasty treats at less than 5 bucks.. I'll be fat.

2. "I'm going to be a big deal"

What does that mean anyway?

3. "I am going to be nicer to my girlfriend"

If you're making a resolution like this, I'm sure it'll be easy to be nicer to her once she's gone. You can't abuse something that doesn't exist.

4. "I won't eat Mcdonalds once this year"

Refer to point #1.

5. "I'm going to stop killing hookers, fighting midgets, and no jumping off 10 story buildings"

I actually said this one, but I felt it was a valid one. As long as I stick to this, well then I've accomplished a goal this year. And really, isn't that the point of resolutions?

5 Comments:

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My new years resolution is to stop paying for sex.

 
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