Read at your own risk II

New Years Resolutions

2007-01-19T14:48:00.000-08:00

I found it funny this year that everyone made all these New Years resolutions. I really enjoy hearing the different things people have to say around this topic, and if you like feel free to post your new years resolutions. My new years resolution this year is to "be a happier person". I know that sounds lame, but one eventually gets tired of being a cynic after awhile. If you see me being grumpy remind me of my resolution, and I'll punch you in the face, and then I'll appologize and immediately be in a better made. One could argue that I am happier because you reminded, or because I just got to punch another happy person in the face, either or does just fine for me. Here is a list of the top five funniest resolutions I heard this year.

1. "I am going to lost weight"

I think Larry the Cable guy said it best when he pledged to eat more and get fatter. I have made it a rule to not make false promises to myself either. I'm going to try and stray away from being a fatty, but I'm not making any promises. As long as MCdonalds keeps offering tasty treats at less than 5 bucks.. I'll be fat.

2. "I'm going to be a big deal"

What does that mean anyway?

3. "I am going to be nicer to my girlfriend"

If you're making a resolution like this, I'm sure it'll be easy to be nicer to her once she's gone. You can't abuse something that doesn't exist.

4. "I won't eat Mcdonalds once this year"

Refer to point #1.

5. "I'm going to stop killing hookers, fighting midgets, and no jumping off 10 story buildings"

I actually said this one, but I felt it was a valid one. As long as I stick to this, well then I've accomplished a goal this year. And really, isn't that the point of resolutions?

Being a musician...

2006-11-14T22:31:00.000-08:00

Here is what I've recently discovered, and feel free to agree or disagree with my statements. I maintain that being a musician is actually counter-productive to finding women. Yeah I said it.. but hear me out before you accuse me of having a pity party.

It's true that if you play a show, girls will come talk to you, or even leer at you. There is something funny about the alure of a musician for girls. I'm not sure what it is, but you can be as ugly as say.. John Lennon, and you'll still get the girl.. but in case he chose to go with Yoko.. so that's a bad example. How about Gord Downie?

But my point is, that no quality girl will come after the musician. Don't get me wrong, every time I sing at least one girl will come and express interest, however it is never the type of girl that you want. For those of you that are musicians.. do you remember being up on stage and locking eyes with that beautiful brunette in the front row, or watching the blond in the back blush when you catch her eye? Why is it that when you go to find said girl after you're done that she ends up leaving with someone else, or worse yet, sends her annoying friend to come talk to you and figures "he seems like a wonderful guy, I bet he doesn't care about looks... or personality... or back hair". Here is the real explicit truth ladies. We want the brunette in the front row, or the blond in the back, we don't want your annoying friend that is single for a very obvious reason.

Myself personally, I find myself in a perpetual state of meeting seemingly wonderful girls, soon to find out that there is a reason they so quickly approaced you. She more than likely jumped at the opportunity to talk to you because she knows that she isn't the one you're approaching, and wants to at least get a date, or a coffee with you before you discover the reason that they so quickly approached you.

Call me bitter, call me jaded.. and yes those things may be true, but I speak the truth, and I defy anyone to disagree. Of course, I'm sure there will be many and I'll gladly listen to your opinions.. but the bottom line is, you're wrong. The good girls never fall for the "bad boy" anymore, which has made me think I should consider being an avid concert goer, and I'll sit in the back, watching who the musicians are locking eyes with, and laugh as the annoying girls approach him while I steal the girl in the front row...

I have a story to tell.. and it's about Impark

2006-11-01T11:34:00.000-08:00

For those of you like me who have ever paid an Impark ticket in the past.. do not ever consider doing this again. This is the simple procedure to follow.

1. Wait until they send a letter.. and ignore it
2. Wait til the letter comes from the collections agency, and call them, tell them that you didn't receive the ticket and if they don't stop calling your house you will take them to court, because here are a few laws I was unaware of until today.
- you cannot call someone more than 3 times a day if you are a company
More importantly: you cannot call someone more than 3 times a week if you are a company.
which means.. they cannot legally call you enough to bother you, if they exceed that limit, threaten them with court action, and then they will take your name off the list. They did not call me that many times, but I said they did and they believe me.. because they do NOT have time to look up one claim when it's only a 30 dollar ticket.. they have thousands if not millions of outstanding tickets just waiting to be paid by people who don't know this is a scam. Yes they are a legitimate company, but they don't have any legal authority at all. In fact, in order to take any kind of action regarding towing your car, they have to get permission from the city your car was ticketed in, and again.. they will not bother, a rep from the company told me this himself on the phone today. Also, they do NOT HAVE THE ABILITY TO MAKE ANY ADJUSTMENTS TO YOUR CREDIT RATING. DO NOT LET THEM SCARE YOU. The rep from the collections company assured me today that they cannot make any adjustments to your rating, so disregard anything you get from Impark.

I called the Collections agency about this ticket that I apparantly had to pay today and when I asked to speak to the manager of the first agent, he told me to "fuck off" and he hung up on me. I immediately called back and got a different agent that then appologized for his colleagues actions and took my name off their list. He told me that any further action would have to be done by Impark, and that they will not bother me again as they do not care anymore beyond sending it to collections. He literally said "don't worry about them, they are one of our clients, but they won't call you again and we won't bother you again from our end".

Case closed.. Impark is a joke. I think I'm going to purposely park in their lot from now on and laugh my way into the guiness book of world records for oustanding parking tickets.. cause according to their own collections agency, they won't do anything about it anyway.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

2006-10-17T00:36:00.000-07:00

I am going to post this for two reasons.

#1 I think it may be "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" might be the greatest movie I have ever seen. I just finished watching the movie moments ago and for some reason I felt compelled to write about it on my blog. If you have not seen this movie I think you should watch it as soon as you have the opportunity. If you have ever had your heart broken this movie will probably make you think more than any movie you've ever seen.

#2 I know that Lbomb hates this movie and I can't wait to hear his reaction to my opinion.

It's unbelieveable, and I'm not even going to talk about it, because that would spoil your chance to see it if you have not. Feel free to comment on whether or not you liked it.. I'm really interested to hear other people's opinions, cause I'm shocked that there are people out there who do not like this movie.

I can't even believe I'm going to say this....

2006-10-06T17:27:00.000-07:00

Today Lbomb and I were watching some beach volleyball.. both lazily sitting on the couch arguing whether we should go to Arby's or Mcdonalds.. when we started flipping channels and low and behold... Gay Rodeo was on.

Now I must first say I don't have a problem with the gay community, but I have to ask a few important questions.

How many of you have seen the episode of King of the Hill when Dale's father comes to his second wedding.. and his dad is a gay rodeo competitor? Well in that episode they had an event which was seemingly fictious... it was called Goat Dressing. Goat dressing involves chasing down a goat and putting a pair of tighty whities on the poor animal, which might be the stupidest thing I've ever heard of.. but because it was on tv I thought it was likely just a way for the writers to casually make fun of the Gay community.

Not only is there actually a Gay Rodeo.. but there is ACTUALLY GOAT DRESSING!!!! I've never seen a more shameful thing in my entire life. Why is it that some people in the gay community decide they want to promote the stereotypes that society has set out for them? I know several gay people who are a normal, functioning part of society, and I'm not saying these people aren't functioning.. but what part of putting underwear on a goat seems like a good idea? Do you actually consider this a sport or do you all smoke a pound of crack and then think of new events? I have to say.. I know I'm going to be ridiculed by some for talking about the gay community, but I was discusted with what I saw on tv today.. I hope they outlaw this activity.. at least in Canada. Come on Steven Harper, you seem to be against this kind of thing.. DO SOMETHING

I'm back in the saddle again...

2006-09-29T22:02:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure what's with the name.. but I would like to take the time to post about how ridiculous I think the Rolling Stones concert is turning out to be.

What is it about Saskatchewan that makes us lose our minds over every stupid thing? This week I've heard non-stop debates over whether or not Keith Richards should be allowed to smoke instead Mosaic stadium. First of all, don't even get me started on the fact that I now am supposed to call Taylor Field Mosaic Stadium.. that could be a whole other rant.

But truthfully... the dude is like.. what? 800 yrs old? He's smoked on stage his entire career and truthfully has been celebrated for it for a long time. I'm not sure I've ever even seen him in a photo without a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. He won't be bothering anyone by smoking, and they are OUTDOORS!!!! Did you hear me? That means all you tree-hugging hippies out there who say he is polluting Regina need to shut up. We have an incredible amount of crap going on in the city as it is.. and Keith Richards will likely improve the quality of air with his smoking.. at least we can pretend to breath it in. So in summation... let Old balls smoke on stage.. he'll likely die of Lung Cancer soon anyway, so let's not discourage stars from coming to our hick infested province.

Also may I say that I think the fact that bars are staying open until 4 while the stones are in town is about the stupidest thing they could do. Are you looking for a friggin brawl in every place in town? The dumbest thing is people are going to be oiut looking for those guys too.. and honestly.. I won't be one of them. Although I may just walk around town with a smoke in my mouth the whole weekend and wear tight leather pants.. perhaps girls will pay attention to me that way.. and if not, well at least I can claim that if the rules are bent for Mr. Richards.. then they should be for me.. cause well... I'm kind of a big deal

this is still active

2006-09-09T00:45:00.000-07:00

if anyone checks this blog in the next month I'll buy them a volve, or a sprint or something, post on here to let me know you have checked it and I'll make sure to buy you a happy meal. I noticed I'm not a link on lbombs blog anymore.. is this a change to the website or am I obsolete?

Oh Saskatchewan....

2006-03-19T14:34:00.000-08:00

The "Tim Horton's" Brier. Men's curling tournament. The greatest event to sweep our fair city since The Grey Cup. It's not that I have a problem with curling, it's just that.. our province is so redneck it scares me sometimes. Here are the top five reasons the Brier has annoyed me this week.

5. Tim Hortons as the major sponsor

I hate Tim Hortons. I like their coffee and what fat man doesn't like donuts, but this company is EVERYWHERE. I don't know how much they spend on corporate sponsorship a year, but it must be ridiculous. I know that they are a good company, but we just completely fall right into their trap. People around here talk about it like it's some sort of fad and it pisses me off. "Timmy Ho's", "Tim's", etc, etc, etc... shut up! Shut UP! SHUT UP! Their coffee is ok, it's not the coolest place to hang out in the world!... ok.. I'm calm now.

4. Farm Drivers

I decided I would wander over to watch a bit of curling, after all it is part of the cultural experience of living in this province and I had free tickets, so why not? Well.. I can tell you that I have never been more frustrated than when I was trying to leave this parking lot. Every Tom, Dick and Harry had driven in from the farm to take in the festivities and they all drove their 60,000 dollar trucks in too. The problem I have with this is two fold. 1. Quit complaining that you have no money. If you just drove a normal vehicle like the rest of the people in this province then maybe you could afford to eat something because Bread and Water. 2. GET OUT OF MY F*CKING WAY! THIS ISN'T THE FARM, SO YOU CAN'T DRIVE LIKE YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE ON THE ROAD. I SWEAR I WILL KILL THE NEXT PERSON I SEE DRIVING WITH FARM PLATES.

3. Gas Prices

If anyone ever says that saskatchewan sucks, they are partyly right in this statement. We do suck, and I'll tell you why. All we do is bitch and moan that no one wants to live here, but whenever somethign happens that actually brings some people into our fair province, we try to screw them over. I've seen it happen time and time again. Take our gas prices as exhibit A. They were 86.9 prior to the big curling event, and the moment that people starting driving into our city to take part in hick fest 2006, we hiked the prices up to 98.9. Those brand new trucks take an awful lot of money to fill up, and we just screwed whomever decided to come to watch the tournament. Same thing with Agribition (another hick enticing event) and anything else that goes on. Stop trying to screw over the rest of the world just because we need money, that's why we lose people. stupid government..

2. "Parti Gras"

Nothing makes me more sad than watching over the hill men and women pretend they are in their teens again. It happens all the time, people that are old enough to be our parents or heaven forbid.. our grandparents, take a time warp back to when they felt cool. Nothing perpetuates this condition more than the slogan "Parti Gras". This is just giving license to every moron to pretend they are young again, and though I don't think old people should behave as if they are dead, they also shouldn't take a week off work and spend their children's college funs on one last kick at the cat, namely a curling tournament!!!! That's how 50 year old mothers have one last child..

1. Old drunk chicks.

In keeping with my frustration toward the tournament slogan, there are so many old drunk chicks it makes me sick. I did happen to watch a couple draws of the tournament, and if my mom decided to make an alcohol induced comeback to partying, she would have fit right in with these ladies. Nothing screams, "I'm recently divorced and I'm happy" more than women with Mardi Gra painting on their faces and half full beer cups in their hands during a curling game. *Note- the half the cup actually ended up on their shirts or in their laps. I actually saw one older lady joking around that she was going to flash the curlers to see if she could get more beads. Before she had the chance to prove that she would do it, I threw up in my mouth and went to get a coke to get rid of the taste of vomit and disgust. Saskatchewan.. I do love you, but for people living outside the province to see this must really make them proud that they moved away when they were 19... ok I'm done now

Let me be the first...

2006-02-22T15:53:00.000-08:00

Team Canada's Men's Hockey team sucked this year. There is no disputing that, and anyone who said "oh they had jet lag", or "They needed Niedermayer and Jovo" are wrong. Yes it would have helped to have those guys, and maybe Crosby, Staal, or Spezza could have been better than some of our players, but the bottom line is: those guys are good enough to get a goal, and in three of the games they played in, they coudln't even do that. Here are my top five reasons why Canada lost.

5. Pat Quinn is fat

Although this man coaches my beloved Maple Leafs, he obviously had his head up his ass all tournament. Why would you ever put Joe Sakic and Jarome Iginla on a line with Kris Draper? Why did Kris Draper see ice time other than penalty killing? Why did Brad Richards play more defense than Wade Redden? Quinn, I used to love you, but I think you have obviously gone insane, perhaps you're just tired of laying off the Mcdonalds.

4. Blake/Pronger Combo

Olympic Hockey is not the same as the NHL. The ice surface is huge and it requires a lot more speed than size. So again it comes back to Quinn when I ask, "why the hell would you have your two big slow defensemen (minus Foote of course), on the same line? I don't get it, it's like you tried to think of ways for us to lose. I will spare harping on these two guys right now because I will save that for later.

3. Juggling the lines

Notice a trend here? Everything goes back to Pat Quinn being a moron, I figure this is likely what the conversation went like before the olympics started.

Quinn: I'm going to juggle the lines as much as possible so the guys never get a chance to learn how to play together
Gretzky: What? eat your mcdonalds Quinn, I can't hear my lawyer on the phone
Quinn: I also think I'm going give Draper more playing time than Thorton and Nash combined
Gretzky: Do whatever you want, I have to get my wife out of trouble here...

2. Lemieux/Yzerman/Spezza/Staal/Crosby/McCabe/Phaneuf, etc...

I am so sick of people questioning everything that Hockey Canada does. That said, let me be the first to say that I thought Kris Draper being named to the team was a stupid idea. HOWEVER, who the hell am I to question Wayne Gretzky on who he thinks will make us the best team. Dude won a ton of cups, and was the greatest hockey player of all time, better than Lemieux, better than Orr, and yes.... I know this may bug you, but he's better than Crosby ever will be. Canada has enough talent to make two teams that could potentially medal in the tournament, and though we didn't do dick all this time around, it wasn't gretzky's fault. He picked a team that should have walked over most of the teams they played and the bottom line is they didn't.. save your criticism of Gretzky for his cracked out, moron wife.

1. Chris Pronger

The hope of our team in the absence of Scott Niedermayer was probably the reason we lost. I don't think I saw this big, stupid excuse for a hockey player make one pass that hit the tape, nor can I say that I saw him spend as much time trying to stop the opposing players as he did looking into Quinn's big puppy eyes. I understand that Pronger played with a cracked foot, and for that I admire him, however, it comes back to Quinn once more. If he is playing that pathetically bad, then why in the name of all that is holy was he getting more playing time than anyone else on the team. That pathetic moron spent more time in the penalty box than anywhere else and probably still managed to lead the team in minutes played. What a terrible tournament, I'm gonna go watch Women's figure skating or something...

Valentines Day blows

2006-02-09T22:18:00.000-08:00

I want to hear a shout out from everyone who hates this stupid excuse for a holiday. Seriously, if you read this blog, you need to post so that I know I'm not the only one who hates it.

5. Crappy songs on the radio

I don't often listen to the radio, but since my cd player...er.. I mean tape deck... er.. I mean 8 track doesn't work anymore, I've been forced to listen to the radio lately. And even though it's not valentines day, there are a ton of ads for it already, and even worse is they keep playing depressing crappy songs. Even bands like the Backstreet boys are getting air time... I hate today..

4. Gifts

The only reason I'm glad that I'm single on valentines day is that I don't have to go out and stress about buying that "perfect gift". Listen guys, no matter what you do your girlfriend is going to be annoyed with what you get her. It might be "too cliche'", or you "spent too much money", or "that engagement ring should have been given to me on a day that wasn't already valentines day, are you trying to get out of celebrating our love an extra day a year!!! What is the matter with you, you are so insensitive, I'm ONLY GOING TO GET TO DO THIS ONCE IN MY LIFE AND YOU GO AND DO SOMETHING AS STUPID AS...... (insert random angry girl comment here)

3. Mushy couples

It's bad enough that those of us who are single have to be reminded of this by the commercialism of this holiday, but now we have to walk around watching everyone who is in a relationship, instantly fall in love, even if they met each other more than five minutes ago. If I see one more couple smush their nose together, or stare into each others eyes, I'm going to vomit... on their faces....

2. The Flower shop

Guys have you ever tried to find flowers on valentines day? It seems that every guy (no just the ones who have forgotten, or couldn't tear themselves away from sportscenter until the last minute) is in the flower shop at the last possible minute. I remember the last time it was valentines day, and I didn't think it was a big deal because I had only been seeing the girl for a few weeks... turns out it was a big deal. So I rushed to the only place that was still open at 7pm.... yep... Shoppers Drug Mart. There had to be at least 50 guys in there fighting over cards, chocolates.... fake flowers, whatever. It was amazing, I wanted to stand back and watch, but instead I ended up arguing with a fat guy over a box of 20 dollar chocolates (marked up from 99 cents).

1. Happiness

Call me a cynic, call me a jerk, call me whatever you want. But if you're happily married, happily in a relationship... happy in general... then I hate you. I hate you and all that stands for happiness in this world. Let the flood of angry comments begin..

Rant

2006-02-02T22:33:00.000-08:00

This is not intended to be funny... this is me pissed off, so if you're looking for entertainment this time, well you're in the wrong place.

So... I hate relationships.. and I'm really starting to hate women altogether. I used to date a girl for a long time, and whatever, I'll spare you the details. But as a bi-product of that ended relationship, I'm not really welcome in our old circle of friends. In fact, my best friend in high school is getting married the day after my birthday, and he is marrying a person who is close to my ex... and it was decided that I might be a distraction to the ceremony, so I'm not invited. To my best buddy's wedding.. I'm not invited.. AWESOME!

Also, I got jerked around by a girl for the last couple weeks. I really fell for this one, but it turns out she has a boyfriend. Whatever, she's still a nice person and all, but in light of this other situation and countless others recently (i'll spare you the details), I'm now bitter and jaded at the entire female population. I think I'm gonna move to some foreign country and read for the next ten years, and if a girl comes up to me I'll just urinate in my pants and hopefully that will scare her away... knowing my luck I'll meet the only sick freak that actually likes that...

Mcdonalds sucks

2006-01-16T18:41:00.000-08:00

Let me make one thing clear before I start. I have a love/hate relationship with Mcdonalds. If you know me, you'll know that I'm a tad... oh what do they call it these days?..... fat? Anyways, I love eating Mcdonalds, in fact I think they put a substance in there that makes it addictive, but nonetheless, I also hate it very much, and these are the reasons why.

5. (Mc)Ornery Workers
I understand that you hate your minimum wage job, but all I want you to do is make my sandwich and I'll be on my way, and I don't want my fries cold either. I heard one time (my brother used to work for them) that they won't let their fries sit in the bin for more than 3 minutes or something because then they get cold, it's funny how every time I get fries they are either so hot I can't eat them or taste like licking the inside of a toilet bowl. Did I do something to you people? You wouldn't be in business if it wasn't for me... oh wait, our whole continent is full of people with fat asses because of you.

4. (Mc)Happy workers
Again, there seems to be no happy medium, not unlike the quality of french fries served at Rotten Ronnies. These employees either hate their lives and have contemplated eating every meal there until their arteries clog and they die, or they are so excited for working for this established food chain that they can't wait to go to work every day. All I have to say is "The Gold Card isn't worth working there, no matter how much you like to eat that crap"

3. Filet o' Fish
If you are going to make a Mcdeal for every day or the week then why make friday's selection the crappiest thing you serve. Nothing is real meat, which is bad enough, but then you go and put this AWFUL piece of crap on the menu and expect that people are going to spend their money on it. I hate you, and I hate fish, and I hope that everyone that works there gets herpes.

2. After effects
Have you ever noticed that after you eat Mcdonalds you feel like crap? No matter how many times this happens to me, I always go back for more. It's like I can feel my colon kicking the crap out of stomach for putting that dog slush into my system. No wonder Dogs are so fat and happy though. But seriously, I don't know when I've felt worse after a meal, at the following times `a. immediately after eating it, b. before I eat again, c. when I think about eating again, d. when I eat mcdonalds again cause I'm too lazy to cook, e. the neeexxxt morning.

1. "Mc"
Why do you insist on putting "Mc" in front of everything. Nobody buys into the way you put that in front of everything you sell as if it says "we're happy and if you buy our food you'll be happy too! Life is wonderful and Ronald Mcdonald is your best friend!" Screw you guys

FH.. I mean IH stats for January 6th/06

2006-01-08T11:25:00.000-08:00

Goals: 3
Assists: 6
Plus/Minus: + 8
= Me dominating, the only time they scored a goal when I was on the ice was when I was in the middle of a shift change, so I had just stepped on the ice. I'm the only one in the world who knows how to play hockey and I'm also the coolest person ever.

Small towns suck

2005-12-27T19:55:00.000-08:00

I hate my home town. I've been here for two days and already I want to jab a fork in my eye so I can focus on something other than how much this place blows. For your viewing pleasure.....

5. Ok, we have a town of about 10,000, and recently someone decided to start a Boston Pizza here (which I said would have been a goldmine like 6 years ago). Anyway, I don't mind that we are getting a BP's, in fact I think it's great. The thing that annoys me is that it serves as a reminder for just how hickish we really are. All I've heard since I've been home is "hey did you see we're getting a boston pizza... ddderrrr...I can't wait to get some grub in that place. I hear they even have a b..b..bar like the cities do". Seriously people around here have never been so excited, and even worse, I've heard of people quitting their jobs and going to work there because they figure the tips will be better. News flash: The same cheap assholes still live here, going to BP's with their higher prices isn't going to make them give you a bigger tip.

4. So for boxing day, every year my home town has a big cabaret that anyone who's anyone (ie. everyone in town because they're all alcoholics) are at. I decide that I'm going to stroll down there and say hi to some old high school friends that came home for Christmas, and I get to the door and they won't let me in. Apparantly you had to buy tickets beforehand, only there is no advertizing for this event, just everyone knows. Well being that I haven't been talking about the cabaret with everyone for the last two months, I dind't know this fact. This one guy who is working the door leans over to me and says "well for you hendy... come back in about an hour and I'll try and sneak you in the back, just between you and me buddy." Wow... like I'm going to come back here after that...

3. Gossiping- I may have mentioned this before, but I hate small town gossip. Seriously, I had a ton of people come up and ask me about everything that has been happening in my life for the last few months. Somehow people still find out about what's going on in my life, and they talk about it long after I'm gone. Dont' get me wrong, I'm not some sort of celebrity or anything, but they do that with everyone. I actually walked away from one guy yesterday because he asked me about when I got sick in November. I looked at him and told him to get a life... and then I knocked him out... and peed on him.

2. Small town whores- you know these girls? Every weekend they drive around in their ugly Chevy Cavalier, smoking their cigarettes and dressing like whores. NEWS FLASH- This isn't the city, when you go the bar tonight don't be dissappointed when the only men in there (AGAIN) are your dad and your brother, and I don't think your brother is going to be drunk enough to take you home again. Man... I can't stand drunk home town whores.

1. Bored out of my skull- Yes I know we used to somehow find fun when we were kids, but stealing street signs, getting drunk and yelling at people (with your dad) and sitting in the local shop having coffee are no longer fun. I dont' know what changed (perhaps I matured a bit), but none of these things are appealing any more. Somehow I feel a little better about myself sitting in the Smitty's in Regina than in the coffee shops at home. Maybe it's because the food doesn't have flies in it, and the waiteress isn't a former classmate who got pregnant in high school, but I feel better being gone. That said.. I do love this little old town, and once in awhile it's nice to come home and see people, but mark my words, I will never live here again.

Top 5 reasons why I hate Christmas

2005-12-23T09:38:00.000-08:00

I am not a scrooge or anything like that, however there are several things about Christmas that I cannot stand and I'm sure once you read my list your love for Christmas may go down a bit.... here it is.

5. Christmas Carols- You know how the first few times you hear carols it makes you happy? Well for me and I know for a lot of other people I think to myself "If I hear We wish you a merry Christmas one more time, I'm going to stand on the roof of a Canadian tire and pick off anyone who's smiling". Just a thought. Think about it... you hate carols too.

4. Christmas shopping- ok I know that part of this is my fault, but I'm a busy guy.. what with eating and sitting on the couch playing video games taking so much of my time. Seriously though, women you need to relax. Nobody cares if they dont' get that pair of long johns in their stocking, so don't hit me in the back of the knees with your shopping cart. Kindly ask me to step aside and I'll back hand you, we'll save the argument process.

3. Typical crappy christmas gifts- You know those products that seemingly only come out during christmas time? (ie. little jewelry chests, and carol singing dogs) Well don't buy those! The reason that no one wants them during the year is because they suck! We already hear "We wish you a merry christmas" enough, we dont' need to hear some stupid dog sing it for the next month (or whenever you leave so I can stuff it in the trash can). The worst part being that there is always a little kid who is just pumped about pushing this thing over and over again until you reach the point where you dont' know whether you want to hit the kid or the animal..... come on you know you hate those things too..

2. People asking for money- Somehow every year people think the best time to ask otehrs for money is during the biggest money spending season of the year. Don't get me wrong, I do care about those that are less fortunate than I am, but why not hit me up for cash during march? I avoid malls because I know that annoying old man with the salvation army bells is going to be standing there eyeing up my wallet and telling himself that I'm going to hell because I passed him buy. You go to hell! You're the one shaking that damn bell for 24 hours straight!

1. I hate everyone who is happy- Bold statement? Of course it is, and some of you are probably thinking that I've turned green and plan on ruining everyone's Christmas this year. It's not that I don't like happiness, it's just that Christmas
seems to be a kick in the face to all of us who aren't happily married, or in love or whatever. You constantly see commericials of people who are happy, and walk around and see people happy. I know I sound bitter, but there have to be a few people out there who agree with me.... or am I truly the scrooge of Christmas? I guess we'll see...

I do want to say on a serious note, that the thing I love about Christmas is that it celebrates my savior's birth, and fortunately for me, that can overshadow everything else mentioned above. If it weren't for Jesus I probably would be sitting on top of Canadian Tire with a pistol waiting for someone to smile

What am I Dr.Phil?

2005-12-11T22:11:00.000-08:00

Now that my internship is over I pledge to write in here a little more. It's doubtful that anyone is still reading this but whatever. Anyways..

I'm confused. For anyone who knows me I've had a lot of weird experiences with girls, and as I'm sure you're aware nothing has ever really worked out the way it was planned. I have been nearly married, I've been cheated on, etc, etc. and basically it all boils down to this. I may have experience, but I don't know ANYTHING. If I knew about relationships and the way girls think then I'd likely be dating someone, or have something on the horizon. I couldn't be any more single and I'm shocked that people still haven't realized that about me. Today alone I had four people come to me for relationship advice. Isn't there someone else in your life that knows something about relationships? Seriously if you're coming to me then you're basically asking to get kicked in the junk and are destined for lonely nights listening to Dashboard, strumming and guitar and crying quietly by candle light.... errr.. I mean, lots of great outings with the boys... I mean... oh no.... I'm an idiot again

Tucker Max

2005-11-18T18:09:00.000-08:00

I feel it is my civic duty to point out Tucker Max's website. Though I am not a die hard fan of his, I still occasionally check his site and get some laughter out of some of the ridiculous things he does. For example, recently he posted a story about a dirty whore who after having sex with him, immediately tattoed the quote (and don't get mad at me if you're offended by language) "I fucked tucker max" on her hip. Let me ask you this random whore.... do you think you're cool? What happens when you try to get married and your boyfriend sees this? How do you think he's going to respond? I just can't believe some people are so retarded. If you want to read more about Tucker Max, or this ridiculously stupid girl (ps. she started her own blog, the site is linked from his site) then look him up, I guarantee you'll feel better about anything stupid you've ever done in your life.

This will not be a top five list

2005-11-05T17:10:00.000-08:00

I know I haven't written in quite awhile, and I know I keep saying I will do more writing, but be patient with me here. What I will say is that you people that keep sending spam mail on my account are pissing me off. Not only are you the only ones that actually post on my site (the rest of you can stop just reading and reply to let me know my work is appreciated, haha), but you usually take some sort of personal shot at me in the process, or just plain old annoy me. This most recent spam mail annoyed me, and I think it annoyed me most because I'm not SURE it was spam mail. Mandy, whomever you are... reveal your identity to me, because I know that my "top five things about the bar" had nothing to do with searching for Baldness on the internet. If it was someone I know they are likely just taking a shot at me, so screw you. And if it isn't someone I know, well then Mandy... I hope your hair falls out and you get genital warts.

Top five things that suck about the bar

2005-09-18T19:10:00.000-07:00

The bar has always been a bit of a stupid place, but any time that I go there now I notice more and more things that annoy me, as a general rule I try to avoid most places, but on the odd occasion I end up going out with some friends.

5. Crappy music
I don't think there's another place in the world where these same stupid songs could get people so excited. I literally see girls jumping on each other and dry humping when "save a horse, ride a cowboy comes on". And to make things worse, plenty of guys come to the bar dressed in wrangler's and cowboy hats, and pray to God that they got there before that song was played. News flash hick boy, for about 4 minutes you're cool, the rest of the time you look like an idiot.

4. Expensive drinks
I've had lots of friends tell me that they've spent 200 or even 300 dollars at the bar in a single night and that never made any sense to me. Recently I went out with some people and they are charging 4.50 for a drink now. Are you kidding me? I don't care how much my chances of having fun improve, I'm not paying 4.50 for a drink, give me water and I'll pop 17 advil and get the same effect.

3. Bar shirts
What is the deal with every guy getting these stupid shirts and wearing them at the bar. Note to retarded guys: Do you really think that wearing that 70 shirt is going to make you stick out from any other guy in the place? Frig, I wore a t-shirt out the other night and one girl actually approached me and said "it's cool to see a guy not wearing one of those stupid shirts". Actually come to think of it.... I'm an idiot for letting my secret out.....

2. Angry Employees
Again what is the deal with these people? I just don't get why you figure that being pissed off is going to add to the experience that you want your bar to have. It seems that no matter what you do, some bouncer (really pisses me off when it's a girl) has to bully you in some way. I wanted to look for a friend of mine out in the smoker's area the other night and when I tried to go out there this chick shoved me and informed me that I couldn't take any glass drinks outside. Seriously Biotch, if you just told me not to go outside with a drink I would have listened, no need to take your PMS show out on me. Go to hell.

1. Girls clothes
Not only is it a huge turn off for hot girls to wear slutty shirts, but if you are fat/ugly/have a huge deformity on your body, don't shot hit off! I'm not exactly fit, and you sure as hell don't see me wearing super tight shirts and wondering why girls aren't hitting on me. You know how there is always puke on the floor in the guys washroom? That's not from drinking too much, that's from looking at discusting clothing, nuff said.

Most annoying phrases in history

2005-09-16T21:57:00.000-07:00

Ok, seriously, some people just don't know when to quit when it comes to quoting stuff. There aren't many things that tick me off more than someone constantly repeating catch phrases from movies and taking them to the point where they're not even funny anymore. Thus.... here's my list.

5. "OOOOHHHHH...KELLY CLARKSON"
Ok seriously, Brick Tamlin or whatever his name is happens to strike gold with another funny show, but there is one kid in the class that I teach that constantly drops this phrase. I told him if he ever said this again that I'd personally make sure he never had children.

4. "You are the weakest link... goodbye!"
Seriously, I hate this woman almost as much as I hate Oprah, and I really hate Oprah. Every time this woman opened her mouth all I could think of was that crazy b*itch from the sunday night sex show (don't pretend you have never seen of that show or heard or her). As much as I hated her, I hate anyone who repeats that phrase...

3. "What/Ok/Yes"
Ok seriously, no one can deny that Dave Chappelle is hilarious. Unfortunately he had to pull a Ricky Williams and go on a personal journey to find himself, but that's beside the point. In the absence of his comedic genius we are left to hear every stupid 10th grader think they have the perfect quip for any question posed to them. You know what kids... unless you are black, bald and like 140 lbs, then shut the hell up, or I'll tell Dave Chappelle you're ruining his comedy, and he'll definitely kick your ass

2. "Tina, come get some ham"
No funnier than the above comment, and also very annoying. The unfortunate thing for me is that I'm teaching in a high school right now, so I get to hear comments like these almost daily... I hate my life.

1. "Whatever I feel like... God"
Shut up John Heder. Whomever gave you the opportunity to put your ugly face on the big screen should be shot and peed on. Not only did I hate your movie, but I hate you and everything you'll ever be involved in. Again, people think that because this movie was such a hit that perhaps they will be the dork that gets cool by being funny. I would say this to all those out there who are as ugly/geeky as John Heder, dude may have money, but he probably still has to pay for sex.

Top 5 Phone calls

2005-08-12T17:39:00.000-07:00

I appoligize for the delay in writing, but I resolved I'd only write when I thought something was funny... and well my life is kinda dull.....Anyways....

Top Five phone calls at work this year (I work a switchboard for a government company)

5. Me: Good afternoon *name of company*
Drunk Girl: Oh F*ck me, wrong number...

4. Me:- I'm not going to do this every time
Guy: Let me talk to your manager.
Me: He's not in right now sir, can I help you with something?
Guy: Unless you're the manager I don't want to F*cking talk to you. Your company is a bunch of retarded F-ing morons, as far as I'm concerned you can all eat S*it and die. Tell your manager to call me, if you tell him what I said he'll know who the F*ck this is.

3. Guy- I'd like to put in a claim
Me- Ok sir, can you tell me what happened?
Guy- Well I was driving on main street there and this chick opened the back hatch of the car and flashed me, so I followed them for a couple blocks and she kept doing it. I was so busy watching her beautiful boobs that I drove right into a parked car.

2. Me- Good morning, how can I help you?
Guy- Could I talk to Tits?
Me- Pardon?
Guy- Can I talk to Tits McGee?
Me- How did you know they called me that in high school?
Guy- Listen asshole, just let me talk to my wife?
Me- Sure, who are you?
Guy- Oh S*it, I dialed the wrong number

1. Me- Good morning can I help you?
Girl- I hope so... it hasn't been a good day?
Me- It never is if you're talking to me
Girl- snickers, oh I don't know you sound cute...
Me- Well the phone can be deceiving
Girl- Am I able to do this in person, or do I have to do it on the phone?
Me- Either way works for me, I'm not picky.
Girl- Alright, I think I'll come down there then, I want to see if you're as cute as you sound, or if your cockiness is masking your looks
Me- Well I'm sure you're be thoroughly dissappointed
Girl- I guess we'll fine out (Note: I don't think she ever came, if she did, she probably walked in the door, looked and me and then decided she didn't want to talk to me after all, haha)

All of these actually happened, and there are a few that are much funnier, but would reveal confidential information, I'll likely post those calls once my work term is finished, that way they can't fire me....

Top Five reasons that being a Summer Student blows

2005-07-08T23:45:00.000-07:00

First off, sorry on the delay for a new post. I had actually thought it was pointless for me to continue writing these because of the LITTLE amount of comments that I get, but I've had a few people ask me in passing if I'm going to do anymore. Word to the wise, if you enjoy this blog, give me some love with a comment here and there, anyways.....

5. Money

Let me first say, that I make more than enough money for the job that I get, HOWEVER, it really pisses me off how much these overpaid lazy ass co-workers abuse summer students. If I am going to do all of your work, you better start tossing me a tip once in awhile, I'm not your bitch. If said person asks me if I have all the work done once more (while she looks over her harlequin romance novel, get over it, your days of those kind of situations are as far past you as your size 6 waistline) I'll probably kick her in the teeth.

4. No Holidays

Just when I think I can relax after a hard year at university, I start work like 5 days afterward. I wouldn't mind so much, except that I get zero holiday out of the deal. I actually asked for a day off so I could go on a trip with a few of my buddies, and one of the snooty jerks in the office just laughed and looked through his nose at me and said "Summer students don't get holidays, you're hired to cover for me while I sit around my pool". I think for that guy I'll kick a bit lower than his teeth.

3. I don't know anything

The crappiest part is that people constantly ask me questions that I don't know the answer to. I'm sorry, but working for a big company like this going to take more than 2 WEEKS to learn every in and out of the policies. "I'm just a summer student, I dont' know anything", why the hell do you expect me to know every bloody detail.

2. Magnification.

Every time I mess up, or come in late or whatever, people get on my case a hell of a lot quicker. One co-worker of mine makes a little remark EVERY time she shows up late, that she's just doing the summer student thing. Note: I came in late once, and I was 3 minutes late because of the train". She's getting my drop kick straight in the babymaker.

1. The Jerk

Is it just me, or is it that everywhere you work there is one person that is just awful? There is one person in my office that I cannot stand. He constantly makes little remarks to me about how I don't know anything, and even goes as far as to forget my name and just call me JAC. Note: JAC is his attempt to be clever, because it stand for "Just a Clerk". Real funny loser, you'll be stuck in his crappy town in your dead end job til you retire. Good luck finding someone who'll be interested you or finding any happiness, your life is over. Honestly, I can't wait til I finish my degree, so I can come back and make this guy look like a fool... I think I'll probably really hurt this person as soon as my job term is up, because right now I have to sit back and take his garbage, but I figure on my last day I'll just take a dump on his keyboard... that'll show him.

Til Next Time,

Hendy

Baby's breath

2005-06-10T12:18:00.000-07:00

Top five things that ticked me off about the flower shop

5. Bad advertizing-
It seems like every single time I go to buy flowers I see a sign on the corner from Grower Direct or some other company, enticing me with a deal like "24 roses for 19.99". The last two times that I have went to get this great deal.. I have ended up buying something else because they are all out of red roses, or the deal is over and they forgot to take the sign down. I hate you flower lady.

4. Pressure to buy once you're in there-
Of course, once you've set foot in a flower shop, you aint getting out without buying something. I could get away with this when I was a stupid 7th grader trying to impress some girl way out of my league, but now if I set foot in a store, you're pretty much commited. I asked about the deal above and the lady explained that I was too late, and then she gave me the look and asked "could I interest you in something else we have here?". Note: This look is one that says "Ok cheapskate, were you just looking for an easy cliche'd way to impress your girlfriend, or are you man enough to still fork out your pension in order to get some flowers. Flowers are nice and all... but they're stupid, they die in a week. It's as bad as Pauly Shore's acting career.

3. Roses mean something-
So the lady proceeds to take my into the cold room where all the roses are displayed and I look at a bouquet of nice yellow roses. She explain to me that it's a bad idea to buy yellow roses for a girlfriend, which left this ignorant male dumbfounded. Being that there were no red roses available, she suggested I go with pink. Does it really matter what color they are? I mean... they're flowers and the cost lots of money. Women.. you should understand that there are a select few men out there that actually care about this stuff, and most of them are wishing some dreamy piece of mancandy would buy them flowers. So if you are lucky enough to get a guy who will buy you flowers, just be thankful if they aren't dandilions.

2. Baby's breath's stupid name-
If I were to think of the most beautiful name for a flower possible, I might just say Baby's breath takes the cake. The person that thought of that name is brilliant, however they had one small flaw. Why did you pick such a crappy flower to use the best name on! Seriously, it's a stupid little white bud that looks retarded on it's own, but if you don't include it in the bouquet you're getting, well then flower lady is going to give you the look again and you'll end up feeling like you just picked dandilions because you didn't want the stupid babie's breath.

1. The price of Baby's breath-
Baby's breath really pisses me off, so I felt it deserved two of the top five. After you have thought about how stupid the look of Baby's breath is, then you can proceed to get the look from FL, and you'll end up buying it anyway. This is the part that really gets a guy going. You walk into a store expecting 24 ROSES FOR 20 BUCKS, and you go to the counter with a dozen for around 25 or something. But oh no, FL and fruity flower boy aren't done with you yet.. that stupid little white bud that makes the world of difference in the flowers also makes a difference in the pocket book. Seriously a stupid little white bud jacks up the price another like 5-6 bucks. Just when you're ready to leave you can always look back and see Flower Lady satisfied with manipulating another male customer, and Flower Boy, staring off in the distance, wishing that somehow... someway, you'll turn around and hand him the flowers you just purchased. I hate flower shops, and yet I know that this won't be my last encounter with the dynamic duo.

Top five things that suck about living at home

2005-06-08T21:51:00.000-07:00

5. Nagging mom- Seriously, I'm 21 years old. Simple thingsn like my mother asking me when I'm gonna come home, or wanting to know every detail of my life just drives me insane. I love my mom very much, but sometimes, I just wanna lock her in a closet.

4. Depressing to see losers from high school- I can't believe how many people never made it out of this one horse town. I remember when we graduated, I thought our class would be the exception to years before it. I figured most people would get out of the town and do something with their lives. Unfortunately, half the class is a bunch of drug-addicts, and riggers and it really depresses me to see it. Seriously guys, it's time to move out of your mother's house, stop hitting on 16 year old girls and get a real job. It used to be funny.. now it's just sad.

3. Having to explain your year at school- You ever had to do this? Seriously if one more person comes up and says "Hi, how was your year at school? What are you taking again? How many years do you have left? Would you like to kick my ass for asking you these questions? *Note- no one asks me this question anymore... someone had to great my shoe extracted from their colon.

2. Old reputation following you- "Oh... so are you still playing hockey? How's that nice girlfriend of yours? I dont' know what it is about home towns, but it seems that people are in a time warp or something. Everyone knows everything about your parents and it doesn't seem to matter how many times you tell people stuff, they just remember the things that annoy you most. If I have to tell one more old lady that I don't play trumpet anymore, or that I'm not in high school anymore, they are going to end up like the guy who asked me about my year at school.

1. Nagging mom- I don't think I can stress this point enough, so I gave it number 1 and 5. My mother constantly asks me stupid questions, roots through my mail, nags me about my money, about doing laundry... I could go on. Once you've lived on your own and been able to do whatever you want, it's annoying to have someone mother you again. I mean really mom, why do you care when I leave Banana Peels on the floor or throw cupcakes at the wall? I'm 21 Dammit!!! You can't control me anymore!!!!

Before I go on...

2005-05-31T17:04:00.000-07:00

Ok, Look everyone. I appreciate that people have opinions, but this blog was not meant to be a theological debate forum. If you don't agree with my posts then don't look at them anymore. They are seriously not bad at all, and if I really unleashed what I wanted to say on here sometimes, I'm sure some of you would blush. I'm not angry at anyone for what they said, but it's just kinda ridiculous. Although I must admit, it's pretty entertaining to watch people argue. On second thought, keep it up, I enjoy every minute of it.

Don't take things so seriously

2005-05-18T16:58:00.000-07:00

In regards to the comment that was left on my previous post, you're taking things way too seriously. The entire point of my blog is just a rant, it's nothing that I actually mean, and it's meant to be purely for comic purposes. I WOULDN'T ACTUALLY MURDER CHER if I had the chance. You have a point with the comment you left, but I really think that sometimes life shouldn't be taken so seriously all the time.

If I could commit murder without being caught...

2005-05-08T21:46:00.000-07:00

Okay I know that's a harsh title, but there are some people on this earth, that if they died, I wouldn't be that upset about it. Here is my top 5 list of people I would shoot if I had the opportunity.

5. Jon Heder

The infamous star of "Napoleon Dynamite". I know I know... most of you out there think he's the greatest thing to ever happen to the big screen, but I'm telling you.. I would murder this guy if I had the chance, just to ensure that he never makes another movie like that again. I rented it believing all the hype and being prepared to laugh uncontrollably, but I left that movie wishing I had the hour and a half back in my life. The best part of the movie was when it ended... seriously people, this movie is only funny when you quote it, and even that has been killed over time.

4. Madonna

I hate Madonna. She's not that good of a singer, was never that hot, and honestly, you're a dirty dirty tramp, and apparantly also a bisexual. Shouldn't you have died from some random STD by now?

3. Vince Carter

I used to love this guy, and in fact I'm wearing an all-star jersey from back when he played with the Raptors, but now, I just wish this guy got hit by a bus. What kind of person making like 10 million dollars a year just whines when his team sucks, and doesn't try as hard as he can? You know why the Raptors sucked this year Vince? Because you blew goats until you got traded, maybe if you actually tried you could have helped the team. They were much better without you, and I hope you get the clap.

2. Cher

STOP PERFORMING AND DIE! Seriously, what is this, like your 18th farewell tour? No one cares or likes you anymore, just go get another plastic surgery, and I'll pray the surgeon messes up and stabs you in the heart with his scapal.

1. Shania Twain

Maybe I hate her so much because I'm Canadian, but honestly I've never heard a performer more overplayed. All your songs suck, and you keep trying to fool people into thinking you're a teenie bopper or something. You're an embarassment to Canada and I hate you. Oh and huge F goes out to Mark McRath. Sugar Ray used to be a hardcore band, and I can even understand him going a bit soft to be more radio friendly and make some dough, but when you start doing a duet with Shania Twain, this dude must be hard up for cash. I'll seriously let you sleep on my couch if you're that broke Mark, at least then you can retain a shread of your dignity.

Noteables who didn't quite make it: Queen Latifah, George Bush, Beastie Boys, Fran Drescher, Jack White.

Top Five Things I Hate

2005-05-06T00:00:00.000-07:00

I think I may end up turning this blog into a top 5 site, mostly because that's the funniest way I can come up with my rants. I'll still be posting random tidbits of frustation on here, but for now, here's another top 5.

Top 5 things I hate

5. Going Bald

Why is it that men go bald? I know this seems like a stupid thing to include in a post, but honestly.. how am I supposed to have any chance with girls my own age when they all think I look 25? Fortunately I now have a girlfriend, and I figure that
I need to get married before I really lose it.

4. Slow Drivers

Why is it every time I get in the car I get behind grandpa who's testing out the ol' cadillac, or little sally who's driving with her mom for the first time. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY! I drive the biggest piece of crap on the road, which can barely drive the speed limit half the time, so if I'm getting ticked off behind you, you know that you need to reevaluate the speed
at which you are driving on the road. If you can't keep up with a fifth avenue then get off the road! (this means you especially mom)

3. Authority

This is likely one that most people wouldn't have on their list, but this really gets my blood boiling. Anyone who looks at me with a look of contempt is in danger of me ripping their arms off and beating them to death with them. Seriously, a person could ASK me to saw off my own foot and I'd happily oblige, but if you TELL me to come take money out of your wallet I feel like flipping you off. I seriously can't stand being told what to do, so if you know me, simply say "could you" or "please" and I promise I won't castrate you.

2. Dumb People

This drives me absolutely insane as well. One instance I had recently was a girl who I know is very intelligent, but the instance that a "hot guy" came round, then she just put on her face and made herself look ridiculous. Word to wise girls, if your acting
stupid routine is actually working for you, it's probably cause the guy doesn't want anything more than to have his way
with you, and figures you're dumb enough to fall for his tricks. Also, I can't stand stupid questions. Recently I misplaced my wallet and my mom asked "well where did you have it last?". I promptly waited a few seconds to calm my anger and replied, "well if I knew that I'd probably have my wallet now wouldn't I?" My mother doesn't appreciate sarcasm all that much. *note- my mom's not stupid, she just occasionally asks stupid questions* - there, that should cover me.

1. Feminism

Now don't misconstrue this as me being sexist because it is not that way at all. I have no problem Whatsoever with women in the workforce, or anything like that. In fact I often tell people that women are great for three things in particular: cooking, cleaning, and making babies... Haha, no I didn't mean that, I honestly have no problem with women having a prominent role in society, but what does get my blood boiling is women who are overly "strong" with their opinions. The type of girl who will get mad at me for holding a door open for her at wal-mart. Seriously.. we're not out to get you, we're just trying to be the "nice guy" that you are looking for. Course there is always the other end of the spectrum as well, the type that will get mad at
you for not holding the door for them. My conclusion is- women never know what they want most of the time, and us poor saps are left to try and figure out what it is they want.

Let me know if you would have included any of these on your own personal list, I'm out.

Why work sucks

2005-05-03T11:28:00.000-07:00

As much as I hate school (those of you that know me know how much I complain about it), there are definitely perks to being a student as opposed to working in an office building. Here is a list of the following reasons I hate working for SGI.

1. I HATE waking up in the morning every day to be there at 8.
At least with school I had days when I didn't start til 12:30, or better yet, if I didn't feel like getting up, I'd lay in bed and laugh about how the rest of my classmates were sitting there listening to some overpaid professor (in some cases a drunk one) was feeding them a bunch of BS. ( I do appreciate a lot of what I learn at university, however I feel that a lot of our 4 year degree is filler, stupid government wants more money!)

2. I hate wearing dress clothes.
This morning I was asked if I would be willing to take my earring out while at work, which I said I'd prefer not to. The boss said it wasn't a big deal, but he figured that doing my hair in a more traditional way and not having an earring might further my professional image. My professional imagine?!?!? I sit in a chair all day and read magasuines and answer the phone when it rings. I could be sitting there naked and it would make almost zero difference. I'll take my earring out and stab you in the neck with it!

3. I hate being asked to do stupid little jobs.
I've always had a bit of a problem with authority, but when someone asks me to come into their office and file their papers for them I always oblige (mostly cause I like the big government pay check), but really all I want to do is say "get off your overpaid lazy butt and do it yourself!". Seriously.. all it would take is for said person to look through the sheets and file them in their cabinet, they wouldn't even have to get off the chair in order to do this.

4. I hate being the "token summer student".
I seriously think the boss hires the most attractive male employee he can find so to entertain the other women in the office (it must have been a thin crop the year I applied). I constantly get the brunt of all kinds of sexual jokes throughout the day, and I'm big enough that I'm not going to whine and file a complaint, but for the love of God woman, you're 47 years old, stop telling me things that would make a sailor blush with shame!

5. I hate doing nothing.
Although this seems to be a shift from the normal attitude I have in life, doing nothing is very boring and makes the day crawl by. I used to hear people joke about the lack of work that government employees do, but now I know first hand. I once asked every person in the office if they had anything for me to help them with and they all did not, so I asked my boss what I should do and he actually said "go to 7-11 and buy a magasuine to read... oh and Chris.. take the company car, I dont' want anyone to see you driving around in your vehicle during work hours". Alright.... I mean.. cool right? All I have to say is that when I'm back on the other side of the coin of this ridiculous operation, I'm going to be right along the coffee row of old people bitching about the government, cause there's no way in hell I deserve to get paid as much as I do to sit around and read Sports Illustrated magasuine. Nuff said, I feel better now....

Pearl Jam

2005-04-27T15:42:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone,

For all you lovers of Pearl Jam, they are doing a Canada wide tour. Check their site for details, but for those of you in Saskatchewan, they'll be in Stoon on September 7th. See you there!

Chris

Why are people so ridiculous?

2005-04-27T14:41:00.000-07:00

Well I decided to start a second blog, my first one has some stuff in it that I'm not terribly proud of, so I figured starting fresh would be a good way to go, sorry for all those who wanted to see my frustrations from previous months, but let's put that behind us shall we?

Today's post is in regards to how a former friend has screwed me over. I used to live with this unnamed jerkoff, and when I moved out, he asked if I would keep the bills going and he would just call and switch them into his name. What I forgot about was that his old account with Sasktel was owing nearly a thousand dollars, so he had no intention of switching it from my name. Over the course of the past few months, we have become less than friends, and he decided that he would attack me in a way that I wouldn't find out about, and could ruin me for a long long time. My credit rating is now screwed, because UJ decided to stop paying these bills, he figured that I'd be the one being screwed, so it didn't matter to him whether they got paid or not. He now owes Sasktel 911.06 to be exact, and Saskpower still wants something around the 200 dollar mark, yet to be determined after they read the meter. Like I said... the bills are in my name, so as far as Sasktel knew before today, I was the negligent ass.

Now that you know the story... I must say.. I can't believe someone would be this much of a jerk. It's fine that someone out there doesn't like me, and I would honestly rather have him come and punch me in the face than to do something like this, but I guess you have to be a true asshole and a coward to pull something like this. For all of you that may be reading this out there, feel free to offer advice on this posting, or just express how much of an ass you agree that this clown is. And "UJ", if you are reading this, I want you to know that I decided to take the high road and not slander your name the way that you have done to me. Even though you screwed me over beyond all reason, I decided that someone had to take the high road in this situation, and I'd turn blue if I waited for you to go up.

Until next time,

Hendy